If I wore a pair of those, especially in my current roundish shape, I'd end up in one of those "People of Walmart" photo post.BW, sounds like you need some of those tight fitting cycling shorts. Less chance of getting caught on the saddle during dismount.
Some say bananas help. Might make for interesting shopping when meeting the newchickfrometheproduceaisle !!!RE:
Hydration - so important in so many ways
Minerals - Some will say potassium, I'll say try it and magnesium
Plus you and BW can probably meet some women asking them for theirs. Awaiting newchickfrometheproduceaisle story or two!